Whose Bright Idea Was That?

• Whichever genius invented those blinding white headlights should be treated to his own personal brand of water torture: a perennial parade of nighttime traffic following him through purgatory (or the LIE. Oh wait - they're one and the same).

• Can someone please tell me... what is the f'ing secret that has Christina Aguilera looking so awesome?! I will sell my firstborn for a single bottle of that elixir - sorry, Jake!

• SUNY is in need of a new major: road signage. Two campuses, two nightmares trying to find the gym. Hansel and Gretel have nothing on the LB varsity volleyball parents - and we didn't have a trail of crumbs.